Britney is such a regular downtown at the Fashion Police headquarters that I find her obstinacy to keep trying humanly quite fascinating. I mean, you'd think she learned by now that whatever she puts on looks like inexpensive, randomly chosen pieces of caca and that she will never get to that point where she'd be able to work such a simple combo as is that of jeans and top. Why is that, you ask? Is not the obvious staring you right in the face? Are not her nipples and her implicit aversion to bras (and, by extension, underwear in general) enough to convince you that this woman could ruin even a billion dollar outfit... without even trying too hard?

Over the Christmas holiday, Britney was busy as a bee: she peed in countless gas stations, went out, forgot her bra, allegedly got drunk, forgot her bra once again, hooked up with a paparazzo, swore at a crowd of photogs and called them "stupid f**ks, y'all!", forgot her bra again, caused a crazy storm at a local store, where she kept a pregnant woman waiting outside a unisex toilet so she could talk on her cell phone with a dumba*s that simply couldn't understand she really wanted that recording studio, forgot her bra... Ah, the days of our lives, how nicely and pleasantly they go away!

So, you see, Britney was busy, especially with that forgetting her bra part, as you can see for yourselves in the pics I have posted for you today. And, again, I feel the need to reiterate my earlier statement: why is this woman even trying anymore, when she could easily step out for gas or Starbucks wearing nothing but her sunglasses and her boots. It's not like she's showing us something that we haven't seen before, is it? Then... why go through all that trouble to actually pick something that is sleazy enough to show your breasts and the fact that you're allergic to bras, while also maintaining the appearance of regular clothes, when you could do it the easiest way... by wearing absolutely nothing at all!

But Britney is smart and maybe this is all just a plot meant to throw us off track. While she is showing us all her goods (and, by God, I mean all!), she is also playing hard to get, making us want to come back for more. Whereas other stars (A-listers just like her), such as Jordan or Jodie Marsh in the UK, or Chyna Doll or Mary Carey in the US, make the mistake of really giving it all to their audiences, thus losing the element of surprise. That Britser, she's so slick and that's why we love her endlessly!

All jokes aside now, even a blind person (and I mean no disrespect for them) could have worn that simple combo better. What am I saying? I could have worn it better. In my sleep. After a very, very, very drunken night. While taking out the garbage. In another life, when I would be a cat. A blind cat. You get my point. Now, try not to stare at her nipples for too long 'cause I will not be held responsible for what happens next.