Among the craziest rumors out there, one of them specifically says that Joe Simpson, father of cover-girls Jessica and Ashlee, is actually an evil being, half-serpent half-man, set to conquer the American media, only not really. However, Joe Simpson is the real father of Ashlee, whom apparently he urges to dump her Fallout boyfriend Pete Wentz. How old is Ashlee exactly because I could've sworn that she's mature enough to make her own decisions, regardless of what her father may have to object?

Well, it seems that things haven't gotten out of Mr. Simpson's hand as he allegedly tried to separate his beloved daughter from that infernal Wentz who apparently had kissed other men in the past, thus making out of himself some outcast who Joe disapproves of. Ashlee's father's anger and determination are not enirely based on the simple fact that he probably hates Pete's guts but also on some upcoming dating reality show that may feature Ashlee. Oh, I see now: 14 men are going to compete for Ashlee and that's why she has to be single so her dear daddy can make her perform all sorts of media tricks just for the sake of some publicity and maybe a worthy new boyfriend.

What's wrong with some dads? I'm not exactly close to Ashlee and Pete but I can tell that they're doing just fine, especially without involvement from her father. No matter what that father of hers may be ranting about wanting her to leave her boyfriend, I don't think that she'll do it and if she does, only for the alleged reasons previously mentioned, then she's one mean shrew! You know what's funny though? Certain connections between the two lovers' names and some successful animated TV series and alternative rock bands can be made: Homer Simpson works in a nuclear power plant, and Ashlee bares the same name; "dumping" as a noun can also refer to hazardous nuclear waste; Pete Wentz is a "fallout boy". Will wee see any red buttons flashing and off-scale readings from the likely-to-happen rumor detector?