We, or at least I, always thought that being a celebrity and making all that money can only mean that you get the best of the best. Of course, this does usually happen and, once you become a star, you get the treatment you always dreamed of: the best chefs to cook your meals, designers who make clothes especially for you, best stylists, the perfect girlfriend/boyfriend, the perfect house, the ideal car and so on and so forth. Not until long ago, I also believed that, if you're a celebrity and have enough money to spare, there's nothing that you couldn't do to your body to make it look better. Perfect, I would say, were it not for the topic of this article.

You see, in my naïve mind, I thought that the likes of Priscilla Presley who is none other than the former wife of the King of rock'n'roll himself, Elvis, would not have a single problem in straighting and making more tight her facial skin, but in so delicate a manner that, without leaving wrinkles to show her age, it would also leave no trace of doubt concerning her being 'all natural'. Of course, back then, in my naïve moments, I also thought that, with the possibility of doing absolutely anything you set your mind to (given by the financial freedom ka-ching brings), also came enough reason to know where to stop. Plastic surgery (getting to the point now, as you can see) can be a lady's/gentleman's best friend, if they know when it's time to just call it quits. Then again, were celebrities to know that, we wouldn't have Maxim's Top 10 The World's Worst Plastic Surgery. In other words, no Maxim Top, no reason for this post. You know what I mean...

To get to the point, the lovely people at Maxim have just made up a top ten with the worst celebrity plastic surgeries and, while the sight is not at all pleasant (it couldn't be, given the subject, of course), this does not stop the story from being true. And, because celebrities are always role models after which we, the common mortals, guide our lives (to some extent or another), it's only natural to learn, now that we know what to do, what we should never inflict on our own bodies. And that, my dears, also includes (too much) plastic surgery. Because the lovely ladies and gentlemen who comprise Maxim's Top 10 are all well known stars whom we might look up to, I decided to split it in two, so that we can talk about each one in more detail.

Kicking off the top at number 10 is Motley Crue's Vince Neil, a man who once was at the height of his fame. Unfortunately, when things began to go downhill for him and the band (not in the sense that they started making less quality music, but in that that, well, the whole heavy metal thing is no longer as commercial as it once was, which only comes to reflect in a band's sales), Vince resorted to plastic surgery as the only means left for him to boost his ego a bit. However, it's not the fact that he underwent many interventions the reason for which he landed the final position on Maxim's top, but the fact that he went the way most washed-up celebs go when there's literally nothing left to do: the man allowed TV cameras into the surgery room, as the doctors were sculpting his new face! Add to that the fact that, even after the doctor was done with him, he still looked like an 'overweight woman' and now you see why he ranks at number 10 in the Top 10 World's Worst Plastic Surgery.

At number nine, we have one of my former personal favorites, the once ruggedly handsome turned melting freak Mickey Rourke. Now, before you're quick to judge this once brilliant actor, you should now that, at least at the onset, he didn't ruin his face by choice. While he was at the height of his fame (yes, back when he was considered as highly as Brad Pitt and George Clooney are today), Mickey also tried to pursue a career as a professional boxer. Unfortunately, things did not end happily for him: a fight left him in bad need of surgical intervention. One thing led to another and Rourke, displeased with the outcome, agreed in almost no time to a series of chin implants, cheek implants, face lifts and several rhinoplasties. The result of it all is, as you can see, a face that barely resembles his former (gorgeous) self, a mixture of Jackie Stallone (Rambo's mother and one of the biggest nightmares in showbiz) and that snowman that has already begun to melt on your front lawn. And they say plastic surgery is meant to make you purrtier... I guess Mickey did not get that memo.

At number 8, we have yet another former hunk. He might not have been my personal favorite, like Mickey Rourke, but that doesn't mean that I was ever oblivious to Burt Reynolds' former charms. Save for his mustache, as lovely as it might have seemed to other ladies (I was never that kind of girl!), Burt seemed to have it all back in the '70-'80s: immense talent, stunning physique and charisma. But, somewhere along the way, this particular actor somehow got it into his head that making his face look frozen in time would be a good idea. Now, a couple of years after all the harm has been done, maybe he doesn't feel the same way - but that's something we can neither verify nor speculate upon. What is clear is that Burt's face now looks as if constantly pulled from the back, with all the wrinkles pointing to some far distant place situated somewhere at his temples or behind his ears. But, strangely, there is no movement left in the muscles of his mouth. The many face lifts, eyelid surgeries and Botox injections (without counting the many hours spent in the beauty salon to get that perfectly manicured eyebrows, mustache and hairline) have made Burt look like a very old, constipated Asian man. And, while there's nothing wrong with being Asian or constipated, when you look like both even if you're not, you should know that it's probably time you stopped seeing the plastic surgeon.

At number 7 in their top of horrible celebrity plastic surgery, Maxim places Priscilla Presley. You can see why. The woman who was once hot enough to bag The King now looks like a very pig-headed old lady who simply refuses to age gracefully. No one knows exactly when Priscilla started getting plastic surgery after plastic surgery but, from the way her face looks right now, one can guess what she might have done to it. Unlike her hands, that are probably the only visible part of her body that betray her real age, Priscilla's face is as flexible and expressive as, say, that rock you climbed this summer. The Botoxed and silicone-injected lips, the puffy facial skin that simply refuses to remain tight, despite the countless face lifts, the wrinkle-free forehead and the overall aspect of 'I am a real person' mask clearly indicate that a part of The King's money must not have been as wisely invested as the rest of it. And to think that Priscilla was once among the most beautiful women in the US... It only makes looking at her that much painful.

Rounding up the final five positions of the top, we have Tara Reid at number six. Tara is actually the only one in Maxim's chart whose age is not greater than the number of surgical interventions she underwent. You might look at her now and see a pretty young woman, but this is quite the opposite of what you would be seeing were it not for the clothes that cover her. The point is, Tara is probably the only celebrity in all Hollywood who can say, in all honesty, 'I got lipo and a tummy tuck even though I was skinny, and I got myself a new pair of boobs, despite the fact that the ones I had were nice as they were'. Tara's mistake was not that she chose the easy way to getting a toner and firmer body - her faux pas was that she went to a butcher instead of a plastic surgeon. Everyone knows the 'turmoils' this actress (ahem) had to suffer in order to get the body she has now; the ridicule and nasty comments to which she subjected herself just because, as she once said, she 'had very low self-esteem'. Maybe now a botched tummy tuck and scars that will most likely remain for life, and boobs that look more like misplaced melons than anything else would give Tara the ego boost she so badly needed. That way she can always find something to console her when she thinks about her ruined 'acting' career...

So, with that my dears, we conclude today's post. But stay tuned here for the first five positions in Maxim's top, as well as for my own personal top of worst celebrity plastic surgery cases. Until then, cheerios ,and remember: moderation is the key in everything!